Healing the Wounds We Don’t Talk About: A Guide to Recovering from Trauma
When Trauma Isn’t Just a Single Story
Some trauma knocks the wind out of you in an instant — a car crash, a violent act, a medical emergency. But the most difficult trauma to name is the kind that doesn’t show up all at once. It seeps into your life slowly. Quietly. Repetitively. It becomes the air you breathe.
Racial trauma. Intergenerational trauma. Childhood neglect. Chronic abuse. PTSD.
You don’t “get over it,” because you’ve been living in it for years.
In the therapy world, we call this Continuous Traumatic Stress Disorder (CTSD) — a term that better describes what happens when trauma is sustained and ongoing, rather than a past event with a beginning and end. Unlike PTSD, which responds to something that happened, CTSD responds to something that keeps happening. Systemic racism. Living in unsafe housing. Ongoing domestic violence. Being misgendered every single day. These aren’t isolated memories — they’re realities.
You learn to scan every room before you walk into it. You shape-shift to stay safe. You carry the anxiety in your stomach, your jaw, your back. And even in calm moments, you’re never truly calm — because calm feels suspicious.
The Generational Echoes
If you grew up with a parent who was traumatized — whether by war, displacement, addiction, poverty, or violence — there’s a good chance that trauma shaped your nervous system before you even knew how to speak. Not all trauma is taught verbally. Some is absorbed through energy, silence, and survival patterns.
Maybe your parent couldn’t regulate emotions, so you became the calm one.
Maybe your household was chaotic, so you learned to over-function, achieve, and please.
This is intergenerational trauma, and it often goes unnoticed because it wears the mask of personality. “You’re just a high achiever.” “You’re just shy.” “You’re just anxious.” But what if you’re not “just” anything — what if those traits were actually defense mechanisms? What if your perfectionism, your people-pleasing, your emotional withdrawal were never personality quirks — but the way you kept yourself safe?
Understanding this matters. Not to blame your family, but to free yourself from cycles that were never yours to carry.
The Trauma That Happens in the Body
You can’t talk your way out of trauma that’s living in your nervous system. That’s where trauma lives — not just in memory, but in sensation.
Sexual trauma doesn’t always show up as a vivid flashback. Sometimes it shows up as disconnection from your body. Trouble being present during intimacy. Shame you can’t name. A gut feeling that something was never right.
Physical trauma might not just show up as pain — but as hypervigilance, insomnia, or emotional detachment. You become so used to disassociating from your body, you stop recognizing what safety feels like.
This is why healing needs to go beyond traditional talk therapy. Modalities like somatic experiencing, EMDR, Internal Family Systems, and mindfulness-based approaches are crucial — because they help bring the body back online, safely and gently.
You don’t need to remember it all to heal from it.
Healing Doesn’t Always Look Like Progress
One of the cruelest things trauma does is convince you that you’re the problem. That if you were stronger, this wouldn’t hurt so much. That if you were doing it right, you wouldn’t still be triggered, reactive, or frozen.
Let’s be clear: Trauma recovery isn’t linear. It’s layered. It’s nonlinear. It loops.
You can do years of therapy and still get rocked by a smell, a sentence, a song. You can go months feeling grounded, only to be taken out by something you didn’t see coming. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. That means you’re human.
The recovery path is less like climbing stairs and more like peeling an onion. Each layer you shed might sting — but it gets you closer to the core. Closer to yourself.
You Don’t Have to Remember Everything to Heal
This is one of the most misunderstood parts of trauma therapy.
People often ask, “But I don’t even remember what happened — how can I heal from it?”
You can. Memory isn’t a requirement for recovery. Your body remembers in its own language. You don’t need a fully-formed narrative. You need safety. You need validation. You need someone who can track your experience with you, gently, without pushing.
At NuHu Therapy, our therapists work with all kinds of trauma — including preverbal trauma, somatic memory, and experiences that are hard to describe. We believe your pain is real even if you don’t have all the words. Especially then.
The Role of Culture and Identity
Your culture, race, sexuality, and gender aren’t side notes in your healing — they’re part of the central story.
Healing from racial trauma means naming the ways white supremacy, microaggressions, and exclusion have harmed you — not gaslighting yourself into “being strong.”
Healing from religious trauma means grieving the betrayal of the faith community that was supposed to keep you safe.
Healing as a queer or trans person means unlearning the internalized shame you were fed since childhood.
These aren’t separate from your trauma — they are your trauma.
And if your therapist doesn’t understand that, healing becomes even harder. This is why affirming, culturally competent care is non-negotiable.
Grief Is Part of Trauma Work
You’ll have to grieve the version of your life you didn’t get to have.
The childhood you deserved but didn’t get.
The safety you were owed but never felt.
The relationships you wanted that never fully formed.
Grief isn’t just for what we lost — it’s for what we never had. And it’s an essential part of trauma recovery. You don’t move on. You learn how to hold both the beauty and the ache.
Your trauma might explain your pain, but it doesn’t define your worth.
What Recovery Actually Looks Like
Here’s the truth: Recovery isn’t about “fixing” yourself. It’s about coming home to yourself.
It’s about recognizing that you’re not too sensitive — you’re deeply attuned.
You’re not lazy — you’re exhausted from carrying what you were never meant to.
You’re not broken — you were adapting.
At NuHu Therapy, we don’t believe in one-size-fits-all solutions. We believe in walking beside you through the uncertainty, the tears, the shame, and the hope. We believe in building safety, learning how to trust your own body, and reclaiming your story — on your own terms.
Tools That Help
We integrate trauma-informed methods like:
IFS (Internal Family Systems) to help you meet your inner parts with compassion.
Narrative Therapy to rewrite the story you’ve been carrying.
Somatic approaches to regulate your nervous system and ground your body.
Mindfulness and breathwork to bring you into the present, gently.
CBT and DBT if structure and coping tools help you feel more anchored.
We tailor the approach to your experience — not the other way around.
What You Can Expect with Us
No judgment.
No pressure to relive everything.
Full transparency and collaboration.
A therapist who sees your strength even when you’re struggling to.
Your trauma does not define your future. It’s part of your story, but not the end of it.
Let’s Take the First Step Together
You don’t have to figure it all out before reaching out. We offer a free 20-minute consultation so you can ask questions, feel it out, and take the pressure off.
All sessions are virtual, fully confidential, and available anywhere in Ontario. Most insurance providers cover therapy with a Registered Psychotherapist.
Book your free consult today:
👉 https://nuhutherapy.com/free-consult
